Today, I felt some peace.
This time of year is so filled with emotion.
This time of year is filled with dread at the upcoming passage of time.
I am working for the first time in two years. It feels scary and it feels safe to know that I am having
purpose.
I just have to keep doing my work on my self, keep praying, keep doing the work of looking at things
that I don't want to look at.
I just cracked myself open on the word suicide. I am processing what that means to
me. Because it has directly affected my life. So I am cracking open and tiptoeing around that word, looking at it from a distance, and not ignoring how much it has affected and hurt me. It hurts my legs, and my poor eating habits didn't help it.
So now I am looking at the word and feeling the feelings.
It is interesting that grief and pain can take so long to peel back the layers and feel and process all the feelings.
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